Family - Assembly - Community 
The Marriage

Yaakov, Béla Orbán

Marriage is fulfilled when the following 3 conditions are accomplished: 

1./ They shall leave…  
2./ They shall cleave…   
3./ They shall be one flesh…  

These three conditions are quoted four times through the Bible: 

Genesis 2:24 – Mt 19:5 – Mc 10 – Ef 5:31 

A marriage can be blessed by God without these three conditions? 
Can we talk about any marriage in the Will of God in that case? 

The inseparable links binding people to their familial homes avoid couples to be constructed and prevent the young people from fulfilling the divine orders… 

No matter how well-intentioned it is, the attachment as alloy…, or any alliance based on interest could at most be some light relationship and not marriage.  

They shall be one flesh
We have to see if the word flesh relates to the body or the whole human being in this precise case? 
Although it is the word basar (flesh-body) which is quoted in the Bible, this flesh cannot live without the nefesh (the soul)… 

Because physical relationship without psychic and spiritual unity could at the very most be the functioning of some animal instinct…

…and not marriage. 

We often hear: "It is easier to live alone...". 
I only trust myself = lack of faith or narcissism (because despite of the many deceptions and bad experiences of the past I did not totally gave my marriage under the power of Christ too…). I just love myself (I do have projects with the other one, demands towards my spouse), many have already wounded me, I still have injuries (they left me, they have been unfaithful to me, "I imagined him/her otherwise", …). 

This list is just a draft and varies, lengthens according to each person. 

Although all these things should not be imported in the marriage because wars would break out again automatically and defeats would start again…
It is only under the power of Christ that the common life of two people can be purified, sanctified and well functioning.   
However it is necessary that both of them first bear again. Both have to purify and walk over the path of sanctification individually. 

…and even in that case it can happen that one of them makes a false step or stand back … but here, we reached the problem of the divorce…

He/she shall cleave… 

Here is the first condition to marriage and the first danger of ruining it at the same time: If this does not happen after a certain time, the person will finally return under the ancient power, this way committing the sin of adultery. 

He/she shall cleave…  
He/she lives his/her life of individual man/woman in faith 
But we mostly have to talk about the man, since this order of leaving his father and mother was mainly given to him.  
But why? – So that he should build: Something new. 
A house – a temple – a family – an altar that will function according to the commandment of God.  
The man as the family’s priest has to work and be in direct relationship with the High Priest, with Yeshua HaMashiach. 
In other words, it is impossible that anyone would stand between the head of the family and Yeshua.  
The adult and independent man do not go to the Door ("I am the door") escorted by any human, but rather on his own in entire responsibility for his family. He has to walk towards this Door every day, at any time and in all situations of everyday’s life.  

No psychical or physical father should stand between the Door and the adult man. They also cannot push anyone through the Door or obstruct the way to It. There is neither false intercession nor any human spiritual authority.   

From a certain moment, everyone is responsible for himself in all things! 
This moment is called Bar Mitzvah among Jews, but in the life of those who were born again in Christ ; this moment varies according to the person.   

This moment should be known and felt in unity and at the same time by both the spiritual father and son.  
We cannot accelerate the process of growth such as we cannot brake the moment of independence.  
Nor parents nor children have the right to do so! 
Birds also know when their little ones are able to fly on their own … may it please the nestlings or not … so that they should get by in life and give life to further nestlings at their turn.   

From this moment, the spiritual, psychical and physical father does not disappear, but he is given a different role.
This role is no other than the aid and the advices that he can give through the ministry gifts.   
His role does not wear off then, since the father also continues to grow in spirit and he is able to be a good or a bad example in the eyes of his spiritual sons thanks to his more advanced age and his more numerous experiences.  
But he does not have any power left and he is not responsible for his children anymore.  
However while walking before the others, he is still responsible for his own life and testimonies so that he could be a good example that worth being followed.  

The assemblies and communities are made of gathered families.

The bearing of a "new priest" does not mean the foundation of a new assembly. He is rather the founder of a new family.  
Among the assembly, he is companion of ministry and not a slave or a subordinate.

But this is yet the subject of another teaching…

Translated from hungarian by Richard (Zeev Shlomo)

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