Family - Assembly - Community
The lonely cedar: Tivadar Csontváry Kotszka
Yaakov, Béla Orbán

One of the worse consequences of consumer society is the apparition of the way of life called celibacy or single life all over the world. The generation between 30 and 40 years old does not assume its responsibilities anymore and refuses to start a family. Thus they remain alone or they keep on having "easy" relationship with the opposite sex and most of all, they avoid having children by any means.  
Moreover, the individualism creates more and more early divorces. Men and women often choose the solution of "living separately".  

My question is: How does all this offend the Law of God? 

Is a Christian community allowed to give shelter to meeting parties or single clubs or not?   

The phenomenon of celibacy rises all over the world when success, money and work get into the first place in people’s mind and does not leave any chance for the family to live and develop. But exactly the same phenomenon can be observed among Christianity when, especially women, are not the victims of existentialism of the world but do rush into all kind of ministries. By this behaviour, they would like to please God and to redeem themselves before Him through their "good actions" and their "good behaving". In these cases, the joys experienced by the believers – often called charismatic experimentations – together with the success become the idols and take the place of the original calling that God gave to these people according to His Project.

It is also frequent to see this kind of faithful ending up keeping just some superficial relationship with its children and spouse. It often happens that these relations are simply reduced to the formal level because these idols do exterminate everything and everybody around them.   

It is high time to do ministries toward these singles and these exited and fanatic Christians so that the Law of God would get back in its right place and become reality in their lives also.  
So that they should be mothers and wives and fulfil their calling received from God. Because as long as they do not fulfil this calling, they will remain in the sin of rebelliousness no matter how desperately they make their frenetic ministries in the “name of the Lord”.



The ministry of single people...

Is it possible to do a ministry alone? Is a single able to serve God?

The two notions are different we should not mixed them up!

Can we serve God on our own?

There are very few such cases in the Bible. When God chooses somebody and isolate him in order to carry out a special mission, this does not mean that he can be alone or remain single.

Behind all the apostles and the prophets always stood people and communities which were independents from them!
Thus, even the ministries that have to be carried out by only one man are still realized with the intercession of aids: people who do not have any concrete role in the ministry except insuring and providing the necessary conditions to its fulfillment.  
This help occurred at the spiritual, at the psychical and at the material level as well.   

Is a single person able to do a ministry...!

In very exceptional cases God can choose somebody and set him apart and free him from any constraint. Then it is impossible to consider these few cases as being commonness.  

Although we should check out some essential factors in the case of a single minister:  
- Why did he/she remain alone?
- Perhaps is this loneliness a case of lawlessness? Since God did not create man to live alone but He gave him an aid, a partner for life and for the ministry.  
- Is it possible that the ministry is one of the biggest idols in the life of this person?

I think that before giving any help or assistance to any single people in his/her ministry, we should first examine the reasons why he/she remained alone or why is he/she still single. We have to find the reasons of his illegitimate state, because in this situation, his/her ministry can really be arguable!

It is only after having put our life in order that we can start talking about any ministry.   

Any illegitimate ministry made by a servant whose life is disordered is just governed by some human and church laws.

The singles are prey to fear and weakness because of their state of loneliness. Moreover, they are vulnerable and weak while facing the temptations of the flesh.   
Soon, supporters that are aware of this problem are coming to help them. But the real aim of these people is to lead the lonely servants under their control while preaching them about mutual-assistance between brothers.

So we have to minister towards the singles and avoid the ministry of those who are in disobedience, in sin or who remained alone because of their idolatry.

Of course we should not leave single servants on their own but we cannot participate to their ministries nor interfere in them!

It is not surprising if the Jewish community takes this question very seriously. They do not accept that a man should serve God without having a wife.  
They go even further by saying, while referring to the first lines of Genesis, that the single man is incomplete and unfinished since he misses his other half. Such a man is not yet able to serve God. Indeed this has also many practical aspects (for example: it is not very decent for a single man to minister towards a woman).  

But what does all this mean to us?

It does not mean that we have to remain passives as long as we have not found our better half. If we live in community, we do have brothers and sisters who also prepare themselves to fulfill their calling or who yet are doing their own ministry. We also receive half-tasks to do from God and we are not realizing them alone either. More and more opportunities and situations are given to us all along the path of our spiritual growth through which the bends of our calling are being drawn little by little – this calling that God made-to-measure for all of us. We should not sit back and hide in the crowed of the assembly while waiting for a big ministry to fall on us from the sky. Even less should we wait for the pastor to recruit us and distribute us our tasks in order to carry them out as the good little « servant » of his master.   
As our hearth gets more and more filled up with the love of God, we start realizing, feeling and accepting the opportunities that He gives us and in which other people also take part by helping and supporting us. If God wants to give us a companion, He does it by converging and joining the paths of those who are already on the road of preparation to the ministry.

The single phenomenon is indeed present everywhere, even in the assemblies. I also think that the most common and serious problem is the one of those who remained singles because – for example – they could never accept themselves as men or women and who are taking refuge and hide in some ministry in order to flee from their responsibilities before God.
Let us be honest to ourselves and also to God and let us ask Him on which path He wants to see us which He already drew for us and let us stop hiding behind false ministries.  

The group of single servants can be divided into two main groups:
The one of men and the one of women.  

The ministry of single women:

God has an order. And the spiritual cover or protection is a basic element in this divine order.   
It is even essential!
The following order: Father – Son – Holy Spirit – Man – Woman – Children is still valid today.   

The one who does not take this fact into an account can easily get into big troubles!

Because any woman who does not accept marriage or withdraws from it arbitrarily remains without covering, thus without any defense.   
In the other hand, if she is married and do not accept the spiritual cover of his husband (in the cases when the husband has born from new) she breaks the law and even the sin of adultery departs here because of her refusal of the divine order.

The one who takes over the spiritual cover of a woman from her husband (if this one is a believer), does also act illegitimately since he also violates the law. No matter if it is a pastor, a whole assembly or anyone else, this act opens the door to adultery.  

There is no possible ministry without spiritual covering!

- The covering of the girl is her believing father…
- The one of the woman is her believing husband…
- The one of the widow and the orphan is God Himself who can give a "spiritual father" - in the case of children remained without parents - and in the case of the widows, it is the duty of the Body of Christ to insure the spiritual cover (and any other necessary care).

These elements are all the indispensable conditions to all ministry…  

The one who is responsible for someone and who do a ministry towards this person has first to respect this natural order of things and then to make the ministered one know it too.  
If such a disorder is noticed within the life of a servant we must stop her and refuse her ministry because of this lack of spiritual protection.   

As it is for the single, the one who sends this kind of person in a mission or who watches over her makes himself the responsible accomplice of her sin.

....and the divorced women....

The situation of the divorced woman is the same as for the widow.  

In the eyes of God, divorce is fornication and do only arrive when one member of the couple dies.  
There is no other kind of divorce.   

This way, the covering has to be insured by her community. It is the community which is responsible for the woman who remained alone as long as she does not receive another husband from God who would take over the responsibility of covering her.   

In this case, it is very exceptional when a woman is allowed to minister towards a man.   

The same way, it is advised for a divorced man to not minister towards women if he is not free from sexuality or from other things through which he could be tempted.  

In these cases, God allows some works where the direct contact is not necessary..., since the joys experienced in a spiritual level can easily go on being experienced physically under the blankets.

Ministry of single men

RAVAK is the Hebrew name of the man who is not married.  
In the past, the Jewish community viewed them in a very unfavorable light. They even blamed the wises of the Talmud who did never get married in order to have time to study the scriptures without having to care about a wife and children.   

These ones could not take part in the instruction of the children.  

Either a single man is not allowed to wear the Talith (praying shawl) since he has no family to pray for.  
He is a priest without family, without home and table. In a word, he is a priest without altar. 
Translated from the Hungarian by Richard (Zeev Shlomo)
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