Family - Assembly - Community
What has happened to me?
My identity as a woman
Sipos Szabó Anna

A warm feeling endlessly come up inside my hearth which I always try to repress in myself despite of its tenderness. It obstinately rises up again and again.

It’s been a little time now that I planed to make a review of the recent past. Despite the joy and the grace that I feel in my hearth, I was a bit afraid to remember all those events that occurred to me in the last few months.

What has happened?

The constant restoration work of Yeshua HaMashiach (Jesus Christ) became evidence and reality in my life. I experienced the sweet and tender leading of God. I have learned to accept the basic things of life. I have accepted my identity as a woman, the fact of living within a marriage according to the Will of God and that I will become a mother one day.  

Unfortunately Satan misled me for years. In my thoughts, he always offered me something seemingly better, bigger and more attractive and beautiful things. Ordinary things, like marriage and family life did not interest me at all. Later, when I converted, I heard teachings about the divine order but all that seemed to me so far in time and I thought that this does not concern me. I kept on repelling these realities without wanting to accept them, probably because I was afraid of them or by simple proud and refusal to be as "ordinary" as others. Then I started to get prepared – although just in a theoretical level – for the big calling by spiritualizing everything that I heard. 

After I became born again, despite all the walls still enclosing my soul, Yeshua HaMashiach kept on working inside me by his Holy Spirit such way that I started to feel real pain because of my internal disorder. I finally had to accept and understand that our entire life is a constant ministry and that in this upside down world, the simplest things that seem to be irrelevant – but that still are very big ones – are actually the most important and serious of all!

In a word, I realized that we must LIVE and that life mostly consists of little things of everyday’s life. Life is made by common events with common people. It is while Living that we can be the testimony of our Lord in this ordinary world. And this is the duty of all of us.

Yes, I have become a wife and yes, I will become a mother to. Yes, I will take responsibility for the work I have to do among my family: providing the warmth of home and be responsible for my beloved ones (those who are already and those who are not born yet). I also have to take on the fellowship with my brothers and sisters. I accept to have just a little role to play in the Big Project of God, as well as being only one among others in the Body of Christ just as in the outside world.  

I thank God for this fruit He gave me by His ministry: the fact of being able to hold and give His glory and testimony for the edification of other people. 

I admire God, His Truth and Justice – which is not like ours, the one of mankind – I admire the fact that He lives among His People and that through Yeshua HaMashiach I also can be part of this People. I am very proud of it, not because I deserve it but because of the love of Christ towards me.

I feel such a joy and grace I have never felt before. This feeling gives me the needed strength to go further till the next boundary stone on the path of my life.  




Translated from the Hungarian by Richard (Zeev Shlomo)

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